Out with Democracy, in with Divination: Election Commission Turns to Magic 8 Ball
he United States Election Commission has come up with what might be their most innovative idea yet – using a…
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Taliban Leaders Speak Out Against Russia’s Human Rights Violations
The Taliban has publicly denounced Russia citing numerous human rights violations and war crimes. The Taliban held a press conference…
France Pre-Surrenders To WW3
France has announced that it will be pre-surrendering to World War 3. The announcement came as a surprise to many,…
Breaking: Putin Cries on Camera Saying He “Didn’t mean to invade Ukraine”
Russian President Vladimir Putin has broken down in tears on camera, saying he “didn’t mean to invade Ukraine”. The emotional…
Survey Reveals Racism is The Reason Teenagers Sit in The Back of The Bus
According to a recent study, a majority of teenagers say they sit in the back of the bus to go…
Florida Law Allows Parents to Feed Children to Lions
Florida has passed a new law that will allow parents to feed their children to lions as a form of…
John F. Kennedy’s Mother Was a Whore
John F Kennedy’s mother was a whore, according to a new book that is set to be released this week….
Scientists Lower Bread Into Black Holes to Make Baguettes
In a recent study, a group of scientists lowered loaves of bread into black holes to see if they could…
You Can No Longer Be Drunk on a Plane, But Only as a Passenger
The federal government has announced a new ban on getting drunk on a plane, but only as a passenger. The…
Pope Francis Shocks World, Announces He Is Gay
Pope Francis shocked the world today when he announced that he is gay. “This is something I have been struggling…